[Her eyes close and she can't help looking away, eyes opening again only to focus on the bed. It's fitting.]
Every day that I wake up and he's not there is a reminder that he's gone. I know he's gone Ned; there's no pretending he isn't. But I can't keep grieving for him ...
[She presses her lips together, unable to verbally admit that doing that would kill her. That not pushing herself would find her curled up in bed and never coming out again.]
Grieving isn't something that ends. You just have to keep moving the best you can... but it's okay to need someone too. [ ned's eyes flick up to hers, remembering how hard it had been to lean on chuck when he'd first arrived, despite loving her more than anything. he knows all too closely what pepper is going through. ]
I'd like to, if that's okay. [ his eyes slide over to her bed, like, can we sit? but he doesn't want to assume it's okay. he might usually but under the circumstances he's even more uptight and worried about taking liberties. ] It was where I was before I was here. And after I was home.
And everyone, who didn't already have one... was given, a superpower.
...And we were given dogtags. To, um. [ he draws his out of his pocket to show her rather than explain. one side of the little tag said 'ned' and the other side 'the piemaker' ]
[ he follows her gaze and nods, putting the tags away with a swallow. ]
Yeah, it's... basically the same thing. Except there we had a whole City; a whole world to roam. I went to Yellowstone National Park once.
[ getting off message, he smiles sheepishly before looking back down at his hands in his lap. ] Tony was... there. I only knew him as Iron Man until this place, but. There's been a decent amount of overlap.
There are different... universes. Like the City, like the Tranquility - where people come in from all over. Except usually when one leaves a place like this - it's.
N-no-no, sorry, that wasn't-- [ he reached out for her hand but couldn't make it connect, hovering awkwardly. ] I just mean, someone. Someone like him.
He's important. He'll be back. [ his twitchy gaze slid up to hers as one dry palm settled over her hand. ] He has to come back.
[ ned nods, hastily, withdrawing his hand. he's always misreading the moment, saying the wrong thing. he gets up, suddenly, wringing his hands. ]
I should-- I just thought, the pie... [ would help ease your crippling worry and loneliness. yeah, something like that. he grimaced, looking at the door. ] He'll be okay, Pepper. The whole time stopping thing? I've seen it first-hand.
He won't be without you.
[ his eyes spoke volumes as they swiveled back to her face. you just have to be strong enough to be without him. ]
I've gone back. Just for a week. But everything was just exactly... how I left it. [ usually it didn't work that way for others but the principle was the same, no matter the duration. ] Home will wait for you. So will Tony.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ninetydegrees
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How are y-- I mean. How is-- You look, uh. Well.
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I know what you mean, and I'm surviving.
[It's really all she can do here.]
This isn't the first time I've ... [She presses her lips tight together.] lost Tony.
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But that doesn't make it any easier. It's okay to-- be upset.
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I know. And I am. Just, in my own way.
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[ he frowns, wanting to be clearer than he usually is. ]
Everyone has their own way of coping. I bake. You... do paperwork. Coping is good and necessary, but it's only a temporary fix.
A band-aid.
[ ned knew this all too well from a lifetime of repression. ]
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I know.
[Her eyes close and she can't help looking away, eyes opening again only to focus on the bed. It's fitting.]
Every day that I wake up and he's not there is a reminder that he's gone. I know he's gone Ned; there's no pretending he isn't. But I can't keep grieving for him ...
[She presses her lips together, unable to verbally admit that doing that would kill her. That not pushing herself would find her curled up in bed and never coming out again.]
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Grieving isn't something that ends. You just have to keep moving the best you can... but it's okay to need someone too. [ ned's eyes flick up to hers, remembering how hard it had been to lean on chuck when he'd first arrived, despite loving her more than anything. he knows all too closely what pepper is going through. ]
Have i told you about the City?
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No, you haven't.
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Of course, have a seat.
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It was a city not unlike but not actually New York City. [ his hands dropped to his lap, fingers twitching slightly. ]
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...And we were given dogtags. To, um. [ he draws his out of his pocket to show her rather than explain. one side of the little tag said 'ned' and the other side 'the piemaker' ]
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Yeah, it's... basically the same thing. Except there we had a whole City; a whole world to roam. I went to Yellowstone National Park once.
[ getting off message, he smiles sheepishly before looking back down at his hands in his lap. ] Tony was... there. I only knew him as Iron Man until this place, but. There's been a decent amount of overlap.
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What do you mean?
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To go home. [ or die. ] But not always.
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So he could be somewhere else instead ... or somewhere worse ...
[Why is he telling her this? Why is she making this so much worse, making her worry that Tony is somewhere worse.]
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He's important. He'll be back. [ his twitchy gaze slid up to hers as one dry palm settled over her hand. ] He has to come back.
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Even if he's home he's not safe. There's so much he hasn't been through yet.
[SHe looks down at his hand on hers.]
I almost lost him Ned. That's what he's going back to.
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I should-- I just thought, the pie... [ would help ease your crippling worry and loneliness. yeah, something like that. he grimaced, looking at the door. ] He'll be okay, Pepper. The whole time stopping thing? I've seen it first-hand.
He won't be without you.
[ his eyes spoke volumes as they swiveled back to her face. you just have to be strong enough to be without him. ]
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[She looks up when he mentions having seen the time thing first hand, frowning. He's seen it first hand? How? How has he seen it?]
What do you mean you've seen it?
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It was like I never left. And all the letters I wrote, the journal I made...
[ gone. until he'd returned to the city. ]
What they say is true.
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